Was she charming, attractive, friendly, and flirty? Perhaps she seemed interested in you?
Asking out a server is always risky, because it blurs what is normally a straightforward business interaction. How can you know whether or not she is like this with all customers?
Waitresses deal with forward men every month, every week, and maybe every shift. This will doom your goal. Instead, try engaging her in conversation, i. Wow, are you always so busy on Tuesdays? Like with flirting, you should be a gentleman and on your best behavior. Make it clear that you are nice, respectful, and thoughtful — again, not some creep.
Employ the usual trappings of politeness that you use in other social situations.
Say please and thank you. A waitress is serving you, but she is still a person and should be treated like it. She may well be very pretty, but you will probably make her uncomfortable. Avoid complaining about the restaurant. Nor does she control how busy the establishment is. Complaining will only put her off. You might try empathizing with her, though.
For example, if the restaurant is annoyingly busy, express your solidarity, i. They should really give you more help with the tables. Order what she recommends. Your waitress knows the menu like the back of her hand. Ask her for recommendations.
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It shows a How to ask a waitress out of trust and turns the conversation to her. This makes her job harder and will only serve as an annoyance. Talk about something other than food. She has been talking about food the whole day.
Turn the conversation to something more interesting, whether about you or her. Try to make yourself seem genuinely interesting. Talk about yourself a bit, or at least hint at it.
Waitresses are hit on a lot, and while they're always friendly about it, they probably will turn you down if they don't know you well.
At the same time, turn the conversation to her. Talking only about yourself might come off as self-absorbed. Empathic people ask questions and listen to others. Tipping is not just polite, but says that you are well-mannered as well as confident, friendly, and interested. You will leave a better impression if you err on the side of generosity.
Those days are long gone. Remember that your waitress is working and earning a living. She has other tables to serve How to ask a waitress out other demands on her time.
Remember that she may be very busy.
It might even be kind to acknowledge it, i. I can see that you have a lot of work to do! Remember to put your best foot forward and be polite, ever the gentleman. You are in a restaurant, not a night club or frat house. This applies not just to your waitress but any woman.
No sexual comments, gestures, or banter. As in all social situations, if she asks you to stop something, stop it. Your first thought might be that the waitress will have more time and be more open to accepting a date if you wait until she stops working.
This first thought is wrong. Instead, it looks creepy. Know when to pick your spot and leave. More likely she wants to go home. If the waitress thinks that you are interested, your sticking around for hours will become a major distraction and annoyance to her. Try stopping in once in a while if the restaurant is conveniently located. Build up a mutual recognition. It may be a good sign if she notices when you stop in or says hello. While being a regular is OK, avoid frequenting the restaurant How to ask a waitress out often lest you How to ask a waitress out like a stalker.
If you always eat at the same table and always smile at her, she may be creeped out. Build up a rapport. Talk over the course of several meals or drinks, if possible, and learn about her while subtly introducing yourself. Try to sit at one of the tables she is serving. Take note of any giveaways that she is unavailable, like a ring on her left hand.
Leave a note on a napkin. One way to ask her out without the embarrassment of a possible rejection is to leave a note on one side of a napkin.
After paying, jot down your name and number and then leave. Notes also leave the matter entirely in her hand and spares her from feeling pressure or having to make a hasty decision.
Be short and to the point, i. Insert a nice tip into the fold of a napkin, with the money is sticking out. Make sure that she will notice the tip or someone else could pick it up Use a clean napkin if you decide on this route.
Leave a note in the check presenter. In this variant, leave your note inside of the check presenter with your payment and tip.
Go with the same approach, including a short offer to take her out and your name and number. Unlike a napkin, the check presenter should be fairly secure and discreet. In many restaurants, there is an unspoken rule that servers only touch check presenters from their table. If not, use a napkin in a pinch. Aim for a kind and no-pressure request, i. Hand her a note with your tip. This gambit involves your passing the note to the waitress directly as you leave the restaurant.
Bold, but sure to get her attention.
Tuck your tip inside of folded piece of paper with your note. Your move may well not work out.