Perhaps you are deep in a relationship with a married man and are trying to figure out how to break it off with him.
Though the married man may promise to leave his wife and start a new life with you, he may continue to leave you hanging or string you along until you become tired of his empty words. Though it can be emotionally trying to break up with a married man when you still have feelings for him, it is important that you prepare yourself for the break up conversation and that you express your desire to end the relationship as clearly and effectively as possible.
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Similarly, veterinarians work with us to co-author our pet articles, How to avoid dating a married man for our legal articles, and other experts work with us to co-author articles based on their specific areas of expertise. Consider why you have decided to break up with him. If you are anxious or uncertain about whether or not it is the right decision to break up with the married man, it may help to make a list of the reasons why the relationship is not working.
It can help to remind yourself of the reasons why it may be time to end the affair as you prepare to have the break up conversation with the married man. Many married men who have affairs will offer very similar excuses as to why they are cheating on their spouse and why they cannot leave their spouse.
It will likely be up to you to end the relationship, as the married man may be content to string you along and continue to use the same excuses. Reach out to family and friends. Though you may not want to tell your family or close friends about the affair, you can lean on them for support in How to avoid dating a married man ways. Spending quality time with family and friends, away from the married man, can help you gain perspective on the relationship and remind yourself that you have other meaningful relationships in your life besides the affair.
If you do have a family member or friend you feel you can confide in, talk to them about your feelings around the affair and your decision to end it.
Sometimes expressing your emotions and feelings to a sympathetic ear can help you figure out the motivations behind your decision and feel you have support in your decision to walk away from the relationship.
If you do not feel comfortable sharing your feelings with anyone, you can write down your thoughts in a journal or a diary. Working through your emotions on the page may help to prepare you for the break up conversation and give you an outlet to vent about the relationship.
Re focus on your needs and your priorities. Practice self care by eating a balanced diet How to avoid dating a married man, exercising regularly, and getting eight to nine hours of sleep a night.
You can also take up stress-management techniques like yoga or meditation. Taking good care of yourself will help you to move on from the relationship after the break up, both physically and mentally. Prioritizing your career and your well being over the needs of the married man can help you to feel empowered and stable on your own. Set up a time where you are both alone and can talk privately.
The break up conversation will likely be intense and difficult so set the scene by choosing a time and place where you can be alone and talk in private.
This could be a quiet bench in a park or a private spot in a coffee shop. Choose a location that feels neutral and secluded enough to give you both space to talk and listen. Choose a private place to talk in public rather than having the talk in your home. If the man reacts negatively, this can help keep you safe.
Express yourself clearly and calmly. Because you are the one instigating the break up, you will need to take charge of the conversation and be clear about your intentions. Try to keep your voice calm and controlled, as getting emotionally may signal to the married man that he can try to comfort you and avoid the break up conversation. Using a calm and clear tone will make it apparent that you are serious about your desire to end the relationship. For example, you may begin by telling the married man you need to discuss your relationship and your unhappiness or discomfort with the situation.
I am not happy with our relationship and I think we need to address the status of our relationship. I am tired of all the lying and sneaking around. Resist this by providing reasons why you think it is time to end the relationship and by being clear that you have made your decision. This will keep the conversation controlled and prevent it from devolving into a shouting match.