It takes great effort to let go of failed relationships and learn to heal yourself instead of letting those complicated feelings linger. To learn how to adjust your mindset, cut ties with your ex, and start enjoying your life again, follow these steps and let the healing begin. Featured Articles Maintaining Relationships. Merelakan Hubungan yang Gagal.
It's okay to mourn the end of the relationship. Whether you were together for a few months or you lived together for years and shared pets, you have the right to your complicated emotions. Allow yourself to cry, reflect on the experience, and accept that it's really over.
Use this time to reflect.
Write down your feelings in a journal and really get in touch with why you're feeling that way. Giving yourself time may help you get over the relationship faster. Some people like to set an "end mourning date. Let your emotions loose. If you feel like crying in bed all day, go for it. If you want to cry or vent to a friend about all of your frustrations, do that too.
Just remember to only do this for as long as you need to, don't rush out into a new relationship in How to accept that the relationship is over week just because your ex is or to make them jealous. Remind yourself why the relationship is over. But you have to stay strong and remind yourself why the relationship is over. Write it on an index card or save it on your phone and carry it around with you.
Look at it whenever you're regretting your decision or wondering why you and your ex aren't together anymore. Learn to recognize negative thought patterns.
Bitterness, guilt and regret can make for a debilitating emotional cocktail when you're trying to get over a relationship. You can teach yourself to recognize bitter thought patterns, though, by writing them down and then later examining them to find your emotional triggers.
If you can pinpoint the things that set you off running into an emotional swamp, you can learn to walk around it. Read back over your journal as if it belonged to someone else. What is it that seems to set this other person off? What advice would you offer them?
What should they avoid?
Circle words or phrases that show up repeatedly. When you find yourself thinking of that word or phrase maybe How to accept that the relationship is over ex's name, maybe a particular place or concept interrupt yourself. Have a mantra or song prepared to recite or listen to as a way of interrupting yourself and rewarding yourself for avoiding that negative thought. Taking up smoking just How to accept that the relationship is over you're feeling angry about a relationship won't do anything to help you feel better about yourself.
Indulging in self-loathing that takes the form of drinking or drugs will only draw out the grief process, because you'll have to start from scratch. If it's a distraction you're looking for, why not make it a healthy alternative? Instead of smoking, try taking up bicycling, art projects, or picking up an old instrument you'd lost touch with. Stop communicating with your ex. Stop texting or calling. Don't try to have an awkward mature lunch with your ex once a week when it's over. Though you may be able to be friends with your ex one day, it needs to be after you've learned to be separate.
The potential for damage at this point is great, and communicating with your ex will make it much harder for you to let go of the relationship. If you need to stop hanging out with your mutual friends for a while, do it. If you really want to see them, hang out with them by making special plans. You're not being cowardly by doing this--you're just protecting yourself.
Likewise, find new social places to hang out--there are plenty of bars, restaurants, and parks to check out that don't have any emotional baggage. If you run into your ex, you don't have to run in the other direction.